Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
