And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
