She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
