You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
