I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
