You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I need a burrito and a hug.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
