i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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