If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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