Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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