She's JV to your varsity
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
