ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
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