shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
it's great music for shaving your balls
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
