You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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