You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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