I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
