Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
honey bunches of taint.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
