Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Randomize
