Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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