I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
