I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I just blew my weed a kiss
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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