Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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