is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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