And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
