He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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