She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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