My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
