party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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