No, drunk sperm still make babies.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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