I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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