spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
