Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Semen is not good for contacts.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
