Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Randomize
