I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
