Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Congratulations! We have a period
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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