What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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