I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
and she was petting her beer can
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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