i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
