I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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