Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize