your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
