I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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