Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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