So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
