Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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