i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
