I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
My life is pants optional.
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