moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
