You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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