went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
