we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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