I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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