i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
