You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize