I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
