I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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