I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
did i walk over a car last night?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize