Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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