Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
you inspire me to be a worse person
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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