Christians are straight up FREAKS
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
