He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
my poor anus
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
