o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
