he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
