my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Lo siento on account of my penis...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
